Early on when Nick and I started talking about starting a family and having kids, we always spoke about 2 or 4 kids. Then it took us years to get pregnant with Ben, followed by a miscarriage and then more years and then surprise twins. 3 was good, a beautiful number of kids, who all happen to share the same birthday!!
I had rough pregnancies. Throwing up daily, nausea, the slightest smell of something (banana’s with Ben, everything for the twins) sent me to the bathroom to throw up. Just not fun. You know those pregnant women who glow and just love being pregnant (looking at my sisters who didn’t throw up once while pregnant lol)…that was not me.
Ben’s birth was rough and we spent the first week of his life in the NICU…the cord was wrapped around his neck and he had a scary blood sugar dropping issue which they couldn’t quite figure out. It was scary, and thankfully everything was ok after that…minus the reflux and colic and being a new parent worried about everything. I still remember Nick doing little bicycles with Ben’s legs trying to work out the gas, and then the projectile vomit lol.
The twins actually had a wonderful birth and what we remember most is how many staff came to visit our room because they were shocked to see TERM twins, who were born at such a big healthy birth weight. Freddie was 7lbs 10 oz and Frankie was 6lbs 12 oz!!! Crazy.
I was done, there was no question about another. I gave away every last piece of baby clothing or bottle or baby-related item.
- we got a towel rack for the bathroom…it had 4 hooks.
- the wagon we got has 4 seats…
- our dining room table has 6 seats and there’s 5 of us…
It felt like there was one missing.
I get chills thinking about it. Nick was talking about a fourth. I said no, lol. Please see above awful pregnancies. I didn’t think I could go through it again. Then for 2 days, that’s it, I felt like yeah, we can do this, a fourth would be nice if it happens. Day 3 Nick and I both had a conversation that ok, if it happens great, if not fine, let’s not try anymore. I don’t know how to describe it, but we were both so on the same page, it was crazy. I don’t know if it’s coming across like that, but it was like being totally in sync about something major, in a nonchalant way.
At the back of my mind I didn’t think it would happen. What were the chances? Literally, it took YEARS and medical interventions in the past. I’d spent years peeing on ovulation sticks only to get a stupid frownie face and feel disappointed month after month when I got my period.
Then, 3 weeks later, the week before my period, I just felt it. I got a pregnancy test and there was a faint line. You’re not supposed to take a test early, even the ‘early response’ ones say you’re supposed to wait until the day your period is supposed to start. I thought maybe it’s a false positive? But I just knew. I was in shock.
Then a few days later I took another, and another test, both faint lines. It could still be false? Then I got one of the tests that SAYS the words PREGNANT or NOT PREGNANT. This time when I took it, the word PREGNANT appeared right away.
So, here we are. I’m in shock. I’m pregnant with baby #4 !!
How am I doing? Well, I’m super sick…to no ones’ surprise. However this time it’s WORSE!
- One would think I might have learned this at this point, but small meals are key… if I don’t eat I get sick and nauseous. But I feel like nothing and am not enjoying food.
- The smell of cooking food makes me sick, and the thought of cooking food makes me sick.
- Randomly I’ll have the biggest breakfast ever and feel better. This happened with all of my kids and pregnancies. Breakfast sandwich from Starbucks are about the best and only thing that consistently taste good and I want to eat. One day I think I had 4 eggs, scrambled, with toast and then ate off the kids’ plates what they didn’t eat…the next day I had 2 full breakfast sandwiches and could have had more.
- Drinks have to be suuuper cold. If they’re warm or just room temp, they seem gross to me.
- I’m narcoleptic levels of tired. I fall asleep at 7pm and won’t want to wake up at 6am. One night I slept 5pm to 6am and then took a nap at 1pm. I’m exhausted.
- I’m visibly pregnant, and so early. I know this is common to show earlier with each pregnancy, but man, this feels crazy.
- I lost a little weight last year – over 50 lbs – and got rid of all my clothes. I have nothing that fits. Since Nick has lost soooo much weight (over 80 lbs now) his tshirts definitely don’t fit…ugh.
- I keep telling myself or trying to tell myself that my physical body is ever changing and this is a phase, it’s just tough.
- I’m still throwing up and getting super nauseous daily, hoping this eases up sometime soon because it’s really rough, but I also know it’s a good sign the baby is growing, so I’m grateful.
My husband has been the biggest help. On days I’m literally in bed and cannot move, he does EVERYTHING with the kids. I’m just so grateful and in love and thankful to have him as my partner.
Here we are – baby #4 pregnancy announcement! I’m very much in awe and surprise that I’m pregnant. I’m feeling all the emotions from awe to scared to excited and cannot wait to see what this next chapter brings. 4 kids! Baby #4 is due on Thanksgiving.